Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
