shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
