No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
