Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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