I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
