I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
