it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
