yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize