It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
