Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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