More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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