my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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