Your tits are I can't wait for
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
