This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm just crazy horny about you
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize