I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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