At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
The adults are the big ones right?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
