I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
