you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
We talked him into tasing himself.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize