Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize