Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
