he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
