I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
