White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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