After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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