thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
