I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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