He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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