how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
