To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
