If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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