I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
