I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Randomize
