You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize