I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
