I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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