He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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