I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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