we're blogging at a bar
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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