Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Randomize
