You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
