Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize