Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
