What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
