when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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