we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
