Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
