Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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