Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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