I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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