whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I accidentally had phone sex last night
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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