oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
