i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
