Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Randomize
