yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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