Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
