So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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