it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
