she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
