is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize