Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
