i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I came so hard my ears popped.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
