I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
