Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
